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22 February 2017 @ 09:00 am
more fat witches and wizards, please.  
I have some HP related thoughts and questions, so I thought it was time for a post! It's been awhile since I've done one of these, and I miss it! I'm here today, because I want to know:

Why are there not more canonically fat witches and wizards?
(I say canon, because I know that fanon would make them all skinny anyway and/or not write about them in favor of the two peripheral thin, moody white boys that interact once, because heaven forbid we have to read about fat people fucking, but that is a post for another day. Sorry, I keep mixing up my rants. Also, not a dig at anybody, because god knows I'm guilty of it as well.)

Now, I'm not even talking about this from a ratio/population diversity perspective (we've already seen that race-wise and sexuality-wise the HP characters are not the most diverse group of characters, and since fat people are reviled in different ways, I can't really expect any different there). And I'm not even coming at it from a body-positive perspective (though, yeah, of course, I'm here for that). Mostly, I'm wondering from a purely biological point of view, how are the majority of wizards not overweight?

The Case:
  1. If you know the right spells, you can theoretically cook the most delicious of foods in a fraction of the time. Are wizards really using their mad skillz to steam broccoli? Some, probably. But most? That seems unlikely. I don't think broccoli was mentioned once in the books. Wizards hate broccoli. #fact

  2. I know JKR could hardly mention everything that people do during their normal day in her books, but like, did anybody ever exercise even once in the books? The only sport we see is people flying around on brooms, which definitely would work out some muscles, but I'm not super convinced it's really a cardio activity. There doesn't appear to be any kind of physical education class at Hogwarts. Nobody was making them run laps around the great lake or do some crunches in the great hall. And there definitely wasn't mention of a exercise room or gymnasium for the resident jocks to get their lift on. Seeing as how Harry was a member of literally the only physical sport mentioned, surely he would have at least known of the gym if there was one at Hogwarts?

  3. Freaking magic, people. I just feel like it would be really hard not to be lazy if you have magic. Walk 30 minutes into work? Why not just take the Floo? Clean your flat? That's what spells are for! Help your friend move? With your powers (literally) combined, you can have that shit packed up and sent off without breaking a sweat. So much of the daily bits of exercise that you get in throughout the day would not longer happen. I mean, sure, it's not like wizards never walk anywhere or do things by hand. But for those who grew up with magic, I'd imagine they use it a lot, and yeah, maybe they'll still walk through Diagon on a sunny day, but I bet they are also 1000% more likely to Apparate to that meeting across town when it's raining, instead of being forced to hoof it like us mere Muggles. Yes, for the students, Hogwarts is described as massive with lots of stairs, so maybe that's enough exercise for most of the kids. But they aren't spending the rest of their lives tromping around castles to get their daily 10,000 steps in.

So. We've got a bunch of people who can cook delicious and probably fattening food in a fraction of the time, who probably get less daily exercise than the average Muggle, living in a world in which making time specifically to exercise has never been mentioned, and at least doesn't seem to be as ingrained in the society as it is in Western Muggle culture. Sure, people like Aurors who have active jobs will probably be in shape, but all those paper pushers at the Ministry? All those undisciplined children who have unending access to feasts on a daily basis? Of course, I do imagine traversing the castle burns quite a lot of calories, but still.

Of course, there's always the possibility that having magic is like having a metabolism on steroids, and all the extra energy burns through calories quicker. I actually really like this idea BUT I don't think there's been any kind of mention of that in canon. Could be true. Could be a solution that happens to make sense but was not at all intentional. Could be false.

Anyway, this got a little rambly, a little away from me, clearly. But basically, it just really makes sense to me for there to be more fat wizards and witches. Like, more than average even. Hogwarts students basically live on Honeydukes chocolate and fucking biscuits and sausages and treacle tart, and you're telling me there are like 5 "chubby" kids, and 3 of them are in Slytherin? (Also, don't even get me started on how the fat characters in HP are almost always portrayed in a negative, or at least not a positive light: Dudley, Vernon, Crabbe, Goyle, Millicent, Umbridge, Slughorn, to name a few. Even Neville is kind of a bumbling, if well intentioned, fool at the beginning of the series when he's chubby. But don't worry. He eventually loses the weight and OMG, look at that, he's upgraded to become a full-fledged member of the Scooby Gang at the same time. Not bitter. Molly is really the only one I can think of in a more positive light, and even she was described at one point as "dumpy". WOW. /rant)

Thoughts? Rebuttals? Agreements? Do wizards have to worry about their blood sugar or cholesterol? Should I eat this cookie? Did any of this make any kind of sense? Inquiring minds want to know.
Kay: pic#127017681theimpossiblegl on February 22nd, 2017 05:05 pm (UTC)

I'm writing a Drabble tonight about fat, smart wizards fucking tonight in honor of this.

wicked smut goddessgracerene on February 23rd, 2017 03:13 am (UTC)
People call me Kisscrazyparakiss on February 22nd, 2017 05:35 pm (UTC)
I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that being fat is still considered bad and taboo (getting a little better, despite the fact it's 2017), and these books began in the nineties. During the rise of heroin chic and Kate Moss. So, whether intentional or not, JKR probably still fell back on the what she knew, in her subconscious, that kids (and the world) equated fat with bad. So most likely, there wasn't a lot of thought put into it--and she needed kids who were appealing to readers. White and slender with character flaws and quirks that aided in their humanity, but didn't detract from them physically. Even the incident of Hermione with her beaver teeth that she has magically corrected. Hermione had no reason to fix them, save for vanity, and she did--because even brilliant, fabulous girls like Hermione are worn down by the need to feel "pretty". She is "unrecognizable" or whatever, I'm not digging out my book, in fourth year, when they first see her with Krum and the boys finally see her as a girl. It took hair slick, make-up, a gown, and small teeth to do that. *insert eyeroll here* If she had been fat they'd have never seen her as a girl and then her ending romance would fizzle. That's just an opinion, mind, but I stand by it.

I am in favor of fat-people fic, especially if it's not just fat fetishized as a sexual kink. I've been fat fetishized and did not enjoy it so that's just me. People can write it, I just won't read it if that's the way the story is portrayed. You can appreciate someone's body without making them into a fetish, and I'm all in favor of that :)

If any of my rambling made sense >.>
wicked smut goddessgracerene on February 23rd, 2017 04:18 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, I mean, I totally get *why* it happened. Nobody writes about fat people. But it's frustrating to see a world where it seems like there would actually be a ton of overweight people, and to still have zero representation. :/

And yes, I agree. I'm not personally a fan of the fat worship kink or feeding or anything along those lines, as it doesn't do it for me due to RL things and experiences. What I'd really love to see is just more fat people existing and present, with friends and lives and romances etc.
(Deleted comment)
carpemermaid: Default Dancarpemermaid on February 22nd, 2017 07:08 pm (UTC)
too busy fucking each other to gain weight. Fanfic backs up my theory.

I just need you to know, as usual, you have me rolling on the ground laughing so hard I'm in tears <33333
쉘리 Unmistakably Oatmeal: ALi - blows you a kisssdkshelly on February 22nd, 2017 06:57 pm (UTC)
I really have nothing useful to add other than I love this post! It does make me get a bit grr-face when I think about the fat=evil correlation. I think even Molly being fat was more because it was a "motherly" quality and she'd had all those children, so of course it's okay for her, sort of thing. But it does then make me extra happy when I come across fanfic with a curvier main character, or letting a canonically skinny character become fat in fic, etc. I support more of this!
wicked smut goddessgracerene on February 23rd, 2017 04:12 am (UTC)
Thanks, hon! I totally agree that it was okay for Molly to be fat in the jolly, mothering sense, and because she wasn't ever supposed to be a seen in any light other than mother. Which, ugh.

I'd definitely love to see more fat and curvy characters in fic, even just as side pairings/characters populating the general universe, you know?
carpemermaid: Default Dancarpemermaid on February 22nd, 2017 07:27 pm (UTC)
Whole-heartedly agree with you! It feels like such a steep slope to real representation of fat characters in media without seeing them coded as the sidekick, the nerdy one, the comic relief, or the person who needs to be ~rescued from their weight so they can become ~conventionally attractive. I definitely agree that it has to do with the time period JKR was writing the series, she's just not great at writing about diversity in general.
wicked smut goddessgracerene on February 23rd, 2017 04:06 am (UTC)
Totally. I agree that it's a product of the time, but I'd be curious to see if things would really be all that different if the book had been written today.
nia_kantorkania_kantorka on February 22nd, 2017 07:47 pm (UTC)
Well, Vernon, Dudley and Marge Dursley's all being evil and fat just adds to your theory. I have no answers. It's probably that most people associate 'ugly' when they read fat even though everybody knows it's not true.

Tbh, a lot of the things in Rowling's world don't really make sense to me. I for example always wondered how most of the teachers at Hogwarts got their job? Parents are super picky about their kids' teachers and in HP a bunch of people, who I'd call bullies, were deemed fit to teach kids. Without any educational and pedagogic training. WtF?

There's more and she probably didn't really think about the role model these books would become one day.
wicked smut goddessgracerene on February 23rd, 2017 03:24 am (UTC)
Yup. When you start thinking about it, it's sort of hard to ignore the implications. :/

Haha, I love you thinking about the teachers! That's interesting, I hadn't considered that before.
Kittykitty_fic on February 22nd, 2017 08:52 pm (UTC)
You have really good points and I totally agree it raises a lot of questions.

...but all I can think of now is how much I WANT... NEED... fic about the boys in the Hogwarts exercise room working out and lifting weights and getting hot and sweaty in all the ways...
wicked smut goddessgracerene on February 23rd, 2017 03:19 am (UTC)
evandar: Bellatrixhikarievandar on February 22nd, 2017 09:57 pm (UTC)
You have so many good points in this post - I love it!

You're definitely right about the food. All the food that's mentioned in the books is pretty high-calorie stuff, and it's made pretty clear that the students just help themselves to it buffet-style. And with no physical education at all beyond Quidditch and, possibly, navigating the castle's endless staircases or wrangling Hagrid's favourite beasties in class, that's pretty much a recipe for disaster.

I like the idea of magic burning extra calories, though. I know it's not explicitly mentioned - like you pointed out above - but it would make a lot of sense.

That said, I now want to write about fat people fucking in Hogwarts.
wicked smut goddessgracerene on February 23rd, 2017 03:18 am (UTC)

Right? Food is mentioned a good amount and like, it's never asparagus or a light salad, LOL!

I also like the idea of magic burning extra calories, which does make sense, IMO. But I'm definitely a little annoyed that this theory was very likely not in JKR's mind when creating a world populated with thin characters. Not to hold her accountable for all of society's ills, I get why she didn't have many overweight characters, but given the world, and the fact that it seems if anything there should be *more* fat wizards than Muggles, it's a little frustrating. :/

Haha, you should totally write fat people fucking. :D
Bring forth the tale of dicks: curlewbirdsofshore on February 22nd, 2017 11:08 pm (UTC)
I just wanted to say the above deleted comment was me! I think my attempt at humour was offensive and I really apologise.

People call me Kisscrazyparakiss on February 22nd, 2017 11:26 pm (UTC)
I totally knew you were kidding and didn't take offense, but I admire you for owning fault incase it did hurt someone <3 Always admirable and brave.
Bring forth the tale of dicks: curlewbirdsofshore on February 22nd, 2017 11:45 pm (UTC)
It's the least I can do and I'm sorry I thought it was appropriate to joke about it in the first place!
wicked smut goddessgracerene on February 23rd, 2017 03:13 am (UTC)